Monday, April 12, 2010

Bridezilla takes over Colorado

I have dealt with many brides in my time, but this one takes the cake (no pun intended). Now, I'm trying to be as nice as humanly possible....but WOW...she was a tough cookie (again with the baking humor...I don't mean to do it, it just slips out). Anyway, I got her name from a co-worker of mine and immediately regretted taking it. HELLO BRIDEZILLA! From the minute I started talking with her I got a strange vibe. (And by vibe I meant that this woman could probably breathe fire and kill me in an instant, so I better not screw anything up). She was SO specific about every single detail and would call me at 3 am when she got some sort of epiphany about decorating methods. (Right.....because I don't have a degree or anything. I don't have ANY clue how to make a cake. Here ma'am...would you like the offset spatula!?!) She finally decided on a 2-tier square cake covered in red fondant. She also wanted me to turn into Picasso and hand paint a tiny checkerboard pattern in black food dye and then cascade giant red flowers all over it. I stared at her. That's all I could do. (Of course I avoided eye contact because I'm sure it isn't smart to look a demon in the eyes). I went home that same day and almost started crying while I looked at the sketch that she had drawn up. I decided to take matters into my own hands. I met her a few days later and showed her something that I had thought of. It was a 2-tier cake covered in white fondant with an itricate black design painted on it and a small bundle of red flowers on top. She started to cry. I thought they were tears of anger, but apparently they were tears of joy (I didn't know monsters could cry). But she loved it. She wanted THAT cake. I explained to her that this may look a TINY bit more elegant and not so "deck of cards/cirque de soleil disaster." I went weeks without hearing from her and I thought that I had tamed the wedding beast. I was so so wrong. She started calling me all through the night and leaving me crazed voice messages. One stating that she wanted me to construct a dummy cake of EXACTLY what the cake was going to look like. I replied, "I hope by dummy cake you mean...sketch." "NO!!! I WANT AN EXACT REPLICA!!!!" "Okay, if you want to pay me to make 2 cakes then I can do that." "WHAT!!? ISN'T THAT A SERVICE YOU PROVIDE!?!" (A service I provide!?) "No." After all was said and done...the cake turned out beautifully and she actually did love it and so did everyone at the wedding. (She may have threatened to hurt them if they didn't so those comments may have been skewed).


  1. Congrats on Tastespotting Lauren!

  2. That's a great design, I love it! And it looks so dramatic in black against the white.